Are You A Victim Of Your Own Kindness?

Posted: 13th February 2017

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By: Carolyn Trafford

Are You A Victim Of Your Own Kindness?

Whether you’re a parent, a partner an employee or an offspring, there’s always someone who needs help or support.  Our ability to care may be part of what makes us human, to provide help when it’s needed or simply just in our day to day nurturing of others.

Think about your day – how often do you hear someone ask “can you just….”? We tend to respond immediately dropping everything to rush to someone else’s need.  These little acts of kindness can be very disruptive to your day.  How often do you restart reading a page of a book from the top again because you’ve lost your place?  Or have to think about what you were doing immediately before the request came?  And how often do you lack time for you because you’ve been doing something for others? Perhaps it was someone’s shopping, or washing or even helping with homework?

Now I’m not proposing that you stop all this, we do this because we care.  I’m just suggesting that occasionally it’s OK to say “No” or “later”.  Considering how and when we help people is actually better for both parties.

  • Finishing off a piece of work before you go and help a colleague means you are less stressed and have more time and mind space for them.
  • Not having to repeat what you started after you’ve broken off from the task actually saves you a little bit of time.
  • Occasionally also, it’s the easy option for someone to ask for help, (we’ve all done it haven’t we?”, and by the time you go back to the person they’ve resolved the issue themselves.

We might be only talking 10-20 minutes in a day, but just imagine what you could do with that extra time.

  • Take a relaxing bath rather than a rushed shower.
  • Pick up your book and read it.
  • Try a little mediation or yoga to relax you.
  • Take that 20 minute brisk walk that you never have time to fit in.
  • Focus on you and your goals.

It’s ridiculously simple but it works.

Everyday we’re challenged at work or at home.  My book “Don’t Just Dream It Achieve It” can help focus on goals  – if you want a copy contact me or go to my shop www.etsy.com/uk/shop/CarolynTraffordArt. It’s packed full of ideas and activities to help you achieve your goals Or go to my website www.reflectionscoaching.co.uk and sign up for my newsletters.

I genuinely would love to hear what your goals are.  Please take time to drop me an email at the address below and let me know what it is you want to achieve this year.

Carolyn Trafford is a Leek based personal strategy coach supporting others in achieving the life they want.  If there’s something you want to achieve get in touch today.

Carolyn Trafford

Reflections Coaching

07714 216388